Love Songs

by MC Sex

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released April 1, 2010

Produced by Clusaki
Cuts by DJ Manils



all rights reserved


MC Sex Austin, Texas

I make rap songs bout fuckin.

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Track Name: Meet MC Sex
Call me a karma chameleon cuz I cum and I go
Call me a shitty bakery cuz I’m all outta dough
Call me Sergeant Schultz because I KNOW NUTTING
And nutting is my business and so I keep gutting

These vaginas like fish, you can call me Captain Ahab
Or Myers or Voorhees because of the way they stab
Teenage girls or better yet Freddie Krueger
Cuz I’ll be in the dreams of any chick after I do her

I’m trying to CUM AGAIN like Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
And she gives me headstrong, never does it dead wrong
I’m a Superman lover cumming faster than a speeding bullet
If I can’t find a girl to suck it, I'm a go home and pull it

Call me Moses how I split the Puss Sea
And I’m the life guard so I dive in real deep
I’m a regular rapscallion, a hip-hop shallot
I don’t need a bed to fuck, I’ll makeshift a pallet

Ladies laugh at my lyrics thinkin im just comedyin
But a girls’ giggles worthless unless they’ll eat my bead of semen
Cuz the funny guys finish next to last
Right along with the nice guys who never get to blast

Their yolks on the girls who liked their jokes
And what’s the point if you’re not getting pokes?
Folks I’m here to tell there really isn’t one
If you don’t do it for cum then it shouldn’t be done

I don’t wanna explain a lot
I just wanna drain my cock
So strip and take off that tank top
I’m about to tame that twat

Yep, that bout sums up the plot
Of most my songs cuz I fuck a lot
I just rap about what I got
And that’s pussy so I rap about fuck a lot

Because I ain’t got money, it comes to me in short stacks
I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay the poor tax
So I’ll write rhymes and spit more than four yaks
And stomp on some motherfuckin beats like doormats

Take off your shoes cuz I keep shit clean
Stick my weiner in her mouth to give it a nice sheen
Then wash it off cuz I don’t know where it’s been
Wrap it up and stick her til it splits her spleen

Til I spill my beans right out of my burrito
Then my nuts hang like I just took off a Speedo
And I’m outta there quick like a launching torpedo
I could offer her to friends but I like more for me though

I’ll scoop up a chick, call me the papa pelican
She’s squawkin in my ears but its like she’s speakin Mexican
So I bark back “Hey, you got any next of kin
For my amigos? Why don’t you text a friend?”

A skeleton don’t have as much bone in em as I do
I’ll fuck a Japanese girl as she writes a haiku
She says Oh Chris you such a tight dude
As I strap on my cape, I got more pussy to fly through

Cuz I’m Chris Sandoval, the human bidet
I keep them pussies wet all night and all day
I’m a perverted poet
My dick, I like to show it
Pubic mound you’d better mow it
Then I’ll stick it in a co-ed

Honeys I don’t smack I dig em
Admire they legs a minute then grab and split em
Pound back and forth while I get in my rhythm
Then pull out and unleash a fury of jism!

I’ll gladly dispense with some of this fluid that starts families
But for now it’s just the birth of some more raunchy ramblings
I’m in a naked state of mind
Mind over matter
Mine is what matters
Making my cum splatter

My genitals should be more gentlemanly
And know better than to lose their lunch on your tits and belly
Like George Bush in Japan
But pardon me maam
Now that I’m done, it’s time for me to scram
Track Name: Testicle Festival
The testicle festival is in town and your spectacles will soon be my seminal receptacle, it’s spectacular
Like my vernacular or the way my hips move when I’m tea-baggin or shagging her

An all out gonad gala, we’re going balls deep
Talks cheap so lets fuck and fall asleep
Or we can keep the party going
Keep the cum flowing
keep loins full of post-coital liquids glowing

The latter’s my preference
But sometimes after spilling my baby batter a nap sounds stupendous
Other times I feel restless and one orgasm isn’t enough to end this
Endless need to nut so I extend this

Sex session the same way my boner elongates
Her tongue waits for more waves of cum galore to taste
A dates just a chance to mate or splooge on a face
Never splurge if you don’t think your rod’ll reguritate

Step right up, it’s the testicle festival
Hittin all the towns in the U.S. and Mexico
Ain’t no donkey show, it’s a straight up freak show
If you want in you better sign the release yo

I think its becoming of a woman for me to be coming on her face
For that matter her tits, thighs, eyes or any place
She squeezes a mini taste of my family tree
Out of my mighty oak, with oh so much glee

Which is good, cuz my wood’ll be up in her esophagus
A real long time like a corpse in a sarcophagus
I wanna get mad pussy
Or even insane crotch
Cuz then I’d fuck Judy while George and Jane watch

I’m not misogynistic
But you can take this dick and massage it
I’ll show up at your prom with a barrage of corsages
To give the queen and princesses a taste of my cock sausage
And then watch their façades as I squirt on their visages

A tale of two titties as I Chuck my Dick ins
The pickens isn’t slim and so I’m clit flickin
These tales aren’t grim so I’m big grinnin
And I’m spillin on her linens so that means I’m winnin

Step right up, it’s the testicle festival
Hittin all the towns in the U.S. and Mexico
Ain’t no donkey show, it’s a straight up freak show
If you want in you better sign the release yo

Tickle on my balls til the precum crawls
Out its hole in the head; down my shaft it falls
And lap that all up from the base to the tip
Then open up wide cuz its all coming in

Hock a loogie up and lube me up til I’m harder than a rock
And gargle on that article cuz we don’t need to talk
Pull it out, a web of spittle is still sticking to your lips
Which helps cuz it’s time to shove this stick between your hips

So we’ve been Strokin, lickin
Now I’m Rammin my dick in
Cuz the sooner that it’s in there, the sooner that I’m finishin
That’s why I started, I’m not here for a marathon
Bust one, bust two, that’s all, I’m gone

You’re getting offended
The sex it just ended
Maybe not for you but for me it was stupendous
But don’t worry, we’ve both got sexual appetite’s insatiable
And view each other as equals, equally replaceable

She likes it on top
So she's grindin my cock
I don’t wanna bust in her
But I don’t wanna her to stop
So I Toss this wonderful broad to the side
And cum so damn hard that it lands near my eye

And we giggle, we laugh, oh me oh my we’re the BEST!!
Now let me watch you lick that cock snot off my chest
I know you got off
Of my dick when I pushed you
I don’t know if you came but that’s a personal issue

As for me my cum came and now it’s all gone
And it’s time for me to do the same so so long
Track Name: NESEX
Girls can learn a lot from an 8-bit console
Like how to take my cartridge in her mouth to her tonsils
And use her tongue like Yoshi suck me like Kirby
Toast me like Scorpion and get Dig Dug dirty

I’m up in them guts like Abadox
I’ll be the bogey on your six that you had in Starfox
“But Chris that was Super-” Thanks I thought so too
But you ain’t gotta tell me, cuz this is what I do

See I’m cockier than Locke in Final Fantasy 3
So get used to how I change to SNES so rapidly
Fuck it, new game, lets move to the next phase
Looks like my lean lizard’s leaning towards a Rampage

So pants are dropping just like King Hippo’s
Straight from the get go
She grabs cock and won’t let go
I’m laying more pipe than World Seven
Warpin around grabbing puss for my brethren

I’m in heaven, no its just Airman’s stage
Mega Man, we need more games like that this day in age
Maybe I just feel like I relate to Wood Man
Cuz when people ask what’s up I say “My wood man!”

But I’m no smooth talker, I could use a Game Genie
But I still get Continues so that I can use my weenie for

I put my finger in your ____ cuz that’s the spot
My dick ___ cuz I like you a lot
I ____ your pussy and you get real hot
And I ____ any suckers who cock block

Take off your clothes like Justin Bailey
I want to be inside you; that just goes without saying
Let’s kick around the subject like Chun Li
Maybe bring out the camera, make our own Smash T.V.?

My bald white Abobo’s looking woeful
Let’s eat a toadstool
So it can get swoll and old school
Then get all Simon Belmont on that ass with the whips
Or get a little weird like Mario 2 did

My dick is getting harder than that Ninja Turtles game
Or Battletoads amphibian games were all the same
So I take off my pants, I’m going Bionic Commando
Platonic relationships can go out the window

Condoms make it harder for me to enjoy sex
Like playing Galaga with controllers instead of joy sticks
You still fucking love it
Like Mario loves Peach
Even if her vaginas dried up like Koopa Beach

Now for me, Donkey Kong might be the wrong moniker
I prefer King Dong cuz with that there’s more fodder for
Girls to ask questions bout my crotch
Then I’m one step closer to a sperm launch

For me or a sperm lunch for her
She can Bobble my cum Bubbles and that’s what I prefer
Cuz it looks funny and I laugh like the dog from Duck Hunt
And The only real difference, is that I’m on a Cunt Hunt

I put my finger in your ____ cuz that’s the spot
My dick ___ cuz I like you a lot
I ____ your pussy and you get real hot
And I ____ any suckers who cock block
Track Name: Keep Em Cummin
Locked and loaded? Yep
My cock is bloated
I’m looking to dive in some affairs that are sordid
“He just grabbed my ass!” Yep he sure did
Don’t you love that cocky swagger? He seems so assured.

Yo cuz sluts have slits for dudes with dicks
That vomit up when they get sick
All that thrusting has made them nauseous
Oops, there’s a stain, you might want to wash this

Keep your chick around me; I’m a try to do her
Cum in her eyes and make her squint like French Stewart
I’ll be hittin the clit of that chick you call honey
While you’re beatin your dick like the thing owes you money

And I’m so thankful for what I’ve got
A big full belly and a wet empty cock
I’m not looking for love I’m looking for lust
I don’t wanna touch your heart so on your titties I’ll bust

I stuff my hot dog in her mouth like she’s Kobayashi
Pull it out, come on her face, make her scream “OH MY GOSHY!!
Where’d all that cum come from?” You dumb dumb
I’ve been saving that up for this session of fun fun

But my dick’s still stiffer than a weekend at Bernie’s
So stiff it needs a gurney and believe me it’s yearning
For some jiggly, giggly pussy lips gargling
With creamy cunty cum spewing out like a lava stream

I’m always in the back of her mind
As I drill her in your face and finger-bang you from behind
Her slurp slurp slurp makes my dick burp
Out it’s guts on her tonsils with one strong squirt

And the rest it leaks out like drip drip drip
I came so fast she didn’t even get to strip
So my DNA is soaked in her B-R-A
But wait ten to go again and I’ll be OK

Look, I Love broads
if they aint too broad
Or loud or dumb
Just the ones looking for some good ol’ fun
And by fun I mean dick
In your mouth like a thermometer and I know you aint sick

And so I didn’t mind that our date was truncated
Cuz she depantsed me, found my trunk and ate it
Can’t focus with my locus of power deflowering her
This shower of semen should douse her then I’ll return

To my usual ways, that was my usual way
I’m dazed in this post-coital haze and amazed
How my man mayonnaise never fails to spray
On my prey at anytime in anyplace

I bone em real hard
Get my dick all up in em
Oh damn I’m sorry, did I damage your duodenum?
I don’t love em and leave em
I fuck em and chuck em,
Hump em and dump em
Relationships: I cleave them
Track Name: Tons Of Fun
This is a tale about a night I got lucky
Went back to her place for some sucky fucky
I had no business crawling in that driver’s seat
Nor racing home and parking diagonally

So as you might guess, the details are shredded
She might’ve been blonde, she might’ve been a redhead
Things got hot and heavy, especially the latter
But I was quite blitzed so it didn’t really matter

There was pulling grabbing pinching slapping
I was black out drunk so it’s like I’m time travelin
one big detail I missed was her weight
Which is odd looking back cuz that’s her largest trait

I didn’t find out til it was too late
I was dealing with a chick who leaves a clean plate
A deuce and a half, maybe I’m exaggerating
But hey I got laid, that’s better than masturbating

Wake up roll over, all of a sudden I’m like Urkel
Did I do that? I think I’m gonna hurl
I could’ve drowned under her! I hope I had a snorkel
Man I go through desperate measures just to get my pork pulled

She told me later on about some things that I did
Like what I screamed when I made her swallow my kids
“What you’re drinking is people, like Green that’s Soylent
Now rub it in your face like Apricot Exfoliant”
Track Name: Mayonnaise and Ketchup
Vagina’s are weird looking, but they’re beautiful too
A woman should never be ashamed of her choo choo
No matter what the fuck is coming out of it
Be it cock, cum, tongue or even blood be proud of it!

So why then do ladies seem to find it unladylike
To summon cum when blood is coming out of their baby pipes?
They be like “I can’t tonight”
And I be like “Oh it’s alright
When my dick comes out, it’ll look like it took a bite”

Your pussy’s rubescent?
Don’t keep it clandestine
Just drop down your panties and don’t keep this man guessin
I’ll turn my peach popsicle into a sanguine stick
Tell everyone about it, they thinking We sick

Just cuz you’re on the rag it doesn’t have to be a drag
It’ll take more than blood to make my hard dick sag
We can still both cum UH
And then wash off AH
If you’re not down with that I’ll put my dick up in your jawwwww

Mayonnaise and ketchup is a great combination
Special sauce for a special occasion
A period ends sentences, not intercourse
My nut ends the sex and this is the chorus

Bloody pussy!? Man that’s not a scare
It’s more like a sloppy Joe or a burger cooked rare
The blood can make it better, wetter that’s for sure
And there’s something about that scarlet stuff that makes it feel pure

So alive and visceral so derived from the physical
Basic pleasures, a little different from the typical
Her pussies looking rubicund and she’s not a redhead
The cuffs don’t match the collar, yo lets get off the bedspread

Let’s put down a towel so your sheets don’t get messy
I know its that time of the month but no need to get testy
I’ve got something that’s tasty, here taste these testes
Before it’s too late and they taste too rusty

Oh you don’t care if it’s covered in your hemoglobin?
I can’t understand you cuz you’re still busy schlobbin!
Her blood counts down as blood drips down her cunt
No cunnilingus because that’s just dumb

Mayonnaise and ketchup is a great combination
Special sauce for a special occasion
A period ends sentences, not intercourse
My nut ends the sex and this is the chorus

You’re starting to menstruate, well this man thinks it’s great
Don’t wait let’s get straight to the main plate
That’s the red pussy, aka the bleeding hatchet wound
A chance to snatch the womb like this comes along but once a moon

Cuz a rise in hormones means more moans,
My bare bone’ll put boom in your poon like a pair of baritones
The crimson tide rolls in, my dick’ll roll out
So far we’ve had some fun with head but now I need no mouth

Her legs pinned back, Im swatting, swinging my sac
And the blood it leaks like red ink right down her ass crack
So the front half of my scrotum looks like it was painted
Or maybe I just dropped my drink and Kool Aid stained it

There’s a red Rorschach blot resting on her thighs
What do you see here? Is it two butterflies
Or is it a pair of lungs? I can’t quite decide
But if you wait a second I’ll add a splash of white

Mayonnaise and ketchup is a great combination
Special sauce for a special occasion
A period ends sentences, not intercourse
My nut ends the sex and this is the chorus
Track Name: I Wanna
I wanna fuck some ladies then
I wanna fuck again
I wanna be so rich that
I wanna vote Republican

I wanna get so much pussy that my piss smells like fish
I wanna reach that point where I don’t have to wish
I wanna have a job where I just put it in the pink slit
I wanna get paid to give boyfriends their pink slip

I wanna take your shorts off so I can get a peek at you
I wanna see you naked cuz you’re cuter than Pikachu
I wanna get my hard dick up in some wigglystuff
That’ll put me to sleep like a song sung by Jigglypuff

And that’s not it at all
I wanna ménage a trios
I wanna massage a twat
And I don’t wanna have to call

I wanna throw the direction of these skirts in reverse
I wanna fuck so bad that it hurts
I wanna fuck you; NO; well pish posh and balderdash
I wanna rip off her pants and paw at her snatch

I wanna spray my cum on something other than a Kleenex
I wanna spray my cum on a girl hotter than Phoenix
I wanna avoid the dregs, just cream of the crop
Give em the crème de la crème, out my cock it’ll plop

I wanna steal Bootsy’s piss; take P out of P Funk
I wanna get funky like James Brown’s since he’s defunct
I wanna get more tail than an animal shelter
I wanna use my French Tickler on Freda Felcher

I wanna blast her face off like Castor Troy
With my alabaster mast, no tricks tactics or ploys
I wanna pull out and point that thing at her vag
I don’t wanna clean up, use her muff as a rag
Track Name: Homecumming
Spilling your seed, isn’t a sin silly
In fact it’s win/win, one for me one for my willy
Getting nuts prevent us from going nuts
Cum in your system is like power, too much corrupts

And even though I don’t condone beating on your children
I’ll beat my bone til my kids splatter on the ceiling
My unborn drip down, sperm genocide
clean it with a Kleenex or let that shit dry

I like jackin off more than slacking off
And I’m fucking lazy I love me some slacking off
I’m writing rhymes while I should be workin
And when I should be writing rhymes I’m steady jerkin

lotion in my palm it Helps me keep calm
No longer gotta hide the porno stash from my mom

Thought I’d graduate from jackin off to copulation
But internet kept my hand always rotatin
Rubbing, sliding, not sliding rubbers
Sitting by my laptop beatin on my blubber

Limewire Bearshare my old friend Kazaa
Asked them for some pron and in seconds, huzzah!
Stroking my schlong
Imagining my cum on her
Became a reality
When my jizz hit the monitor

I measured how far my load went with a ruler
when it dripped down, I dubbed that a drooler
My dick’s choked like a Dallas team in the playoffs
One from the late aughts, and there’s massive layoffs

Meaning all lays are off, for me for now until I can fool
Some young co-ed into absorbing my tool
Into her twat but for now they’re not
So I keep on churning out my homegrown cock snot

So I didn’t learn how to treat a lady like a man should
But I know how to treat my manhood
Too much time on my hands, I filled em with lotion
Put dick into fist then cum is the quotient

I should’ve been plowing the 40 acres with my mule
But I was at my desktop with nothing but my tool
In my hand and there was absolutely no demand for it
Outcast to just porn, so I grinned and bore it

Beared it, whatever, as long as they’d beer me
I needed to forget about that celibate tyranny
It wasn’t that bad, I wasn’t used to getting laid
On a regular basis, I hadn’t come of age

And I hadn’t cum in ages by the power of girl
Porn stars the most important women of my world
So with a few flicks of the wrist I did a slick trick
And made a milky mixture pop right out the dick tip!
Track Name: Bass Balls
It’s easy to spit bars all about nothing
easier to spit out bars about fuckin
the easy way out is to jot down on paper
Lines that end in suck and fuck and throw in some flavor

I Rocksteady with my rock hard ding dong
It goes BeBop when I put the pink on my schlong
My dick’s stuck up in that pussy like a Splinter
Anytime of the year be it April or winter

Inhibitions lowered like they’re playing limbo
If you’re talking bout fucking you’re talking my lingo
Everyday of my life is like sabado domingo
Things are falling into place like I’m winning at Plinko

Stumbling down halls
Fumbling with bras
Nothing in my balls
Cuz it all has sprawled
On the walls of vaginas that I have adored
And adorned with my sperm in one big pour

A fistful of phallus
White dick’s a crystal chalice
I’m in wonderland with Alice
And she’s loving all my talents
I’m feeling very needy
And I know it’s kinda greedy
But I wanna dump my seedy
On more pussy cats than Tweety

There’s an urgent need for detergency
To cure this vagina’s deterrent stink
Maybe steel wool and bleach will do the job
But if funk blocks fuck, I’ll settle for some slob

Do it for the story
Do it for the lolz
And do it with no condom if she takes her birth controlz
I’d rather be remiss than not missed at all
If you don’t like it that you can lick the balls

If my wiener were a wiener it’d be Ball Park Frank
It gets plump on your grill, When it’s hot give it a yank
Or maybe Hebrew National, it’s blowing up like Tel Aviv
Unborn children everywhere but hey, C’est la vie
Track Name: Sit
She’s got more cream on her lips than a Funny Face from IHOP
Uh-oh, She looks like shes about to cry, STOP
We just met, We’re not AT ALL committed
“If my boyfriend knew, he’d be so goddamn livid!”

OH that explains it but my cock she just drained it
So I offer up an idea that might rearrange shit
Tell him what happened straight up, no lies
Then tell him that you’re sorry but you really think you guys

Have something special and you really want to preserve it
So you’re willing to do something a little perverted
Then list off each of your freakiest friends
And tell him that you’ll fuck one if that would make amends

And that he could join in, that’ll get his groin growin
If he says “I’m in” then that’s win/win/win
“I guess that could work, but what do you get out of this?”
I just want to meet your girlfriend so she can bounce on this

When your twat gets wet, on my cock just SIT
When you want it in your ass on my shaft just SIT
When you want me to taste on my face just SIT
And when my nuts in your mouth then you know that’S IT

Even she wants a relationship like Pam and Jim
I’d leave a spot on her face just like Marilyn
Monroe, play her with her hole like a mandolin
And then take no bull like Merrill Lynch

Her heads buried in the sheets and it muffles her screams
She’s clutching the mattress and grinding her teeth
Her thighs and my waist form a triangle
She drops her crotch; pussy lips dangle

And then I thrust in and bisect that shape.
My dick squishes pussy like feet squish grapes
Switch, She’s on top, riding me full throttle
I’m grabbing her hips; shaking like a ketchup bottle

My balls flap forward and clap on the clit
Like a hi hat click but that’s what you get
When you adopt this slick prick into your home
Need doggy door panties just for this bone

My toes curl as my dick hurls its pearl,
Lets go again just to make it plural
What in the world feels better than that? Not many things
Girls over money; you can’t buy you a ding a ling

You can choke on my dick but I need you to SIT
Hun if you’re ready for some cum then SIT
Before I jizz on your tits, I need you to SIT
And when my nuts in your mouth then you know that’S IT
Track Name: Just The Tip
My name is MC Sex, that’s dumb
Shut up, I save the clever stuff for the album
My cock phlegm is flung like my balls are smoker’s lungs
It’s not about to stop it’s only just begun

See, I don’t smoke Black and Milds cuz I’m White and Wild
And it shows that I’m horny in my writin style
When I’m fightin Guile I pick Ryu
And Hadouken you fools with a ball that’s bright blue

But I’m never stuck with blue balls
I always make those two fall
I bounce around these dames just like cue balls
She’s pushing stick like people in pool halls
And when I ask her to fuck me she won’t pause

In my house the odors of debauchery run rampant
When I touch a thigh, a pussy gets dampened
Its not an accident, I straight up planned it
I don’t offer my cock, because she’ll demand it

I dos what I does
Drink brews for a buzz
Where’s the bathroom in this place? I’m bout to ruin a rug
I’m a scummy lover
leaving nutty rubbers
on your belly and covers
Call me Danny Glover

Cuz I keep a Lethal Weapon in my pants at all times
And brag about it all in my cock and ball rhymes
you used to be a wild one but now this dick is tamin ya
our bodies come together like Mesopotamia

All the ladies in the house get drunk and strip
Lets see some pussy, some ass and a whole lotta nip
I get this shit cracking like an old man’s hip
But this ain’t nothing yet fuckers, this is just the tip

My rhymes aren’t one-dimensional just cuz I rap about booty
I rap about big tits and those things are two D
In other words Double D
He swinged swang and swung at me
Hey its not my fault your girl wants to get fucked by me

I’m more into my mahogany than monogamy
Nonogamy, that’s where I think it really be
No need for a we, just more for me
It doesn’t take a whore to see I’m really really horny

On the mattress is where my talents lie
I’m a goofus, not gallant kind of guy
I do this fuck music
To loosen up the pubic region
Of any chick that’s in reaching Range

Especially the kind that are loose like change
They say they come a dime a dozen
But when I’m buzzing
Around these bars looking for a little something
I come up empty handed
Except for when I’m home

I open my palm up and there is my bone
And if you want to know the truth
Lately I get laid about as much as Michael Bluth
Not much and it sucks
Go out and its all the same such and such and such

I see ass I wanna touch and I see pussy I wanna mush
No bush in my fantasy just a naked lush
Inebriated enough to want to get naked with me
We know its not love but maybe she’ll fake it with me

So I put my precipice straight in her wet crevice
Reckless sex I guess, that’s what makes it the best of this
She calls me lover boy as I’m hitting it from the back
I pull up my pants to leave and I don’t call her back