Pussy​/​Ass Rap

by MC Sex

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released February 14, 2014



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MC Sex Austin, Texas

I make rap songs bout fuckin.

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Track Name: Honorable Discharge
I'm your favorite girls favorite rapper
Right before we fucked said I'd name a song after
Right after we fucked I put that pussy out to pasture
May be called a bastard but that pussy I done mastered

Im halfway to filthy rich, I’m so filthy
I'll steal your girl quick, like Claire Quilty
Yo ain't my fault though, she's the one who's guilty
I ain’t have to do shit, she offered to milk me

Stare into that pussy then I fall in like I’m Narcissus
And the rubbers ribbed, got her feelin like a sharks in it
Get it on the first night, hole in one’s the par for this
Never leave my seed I gotta clean my semen carcasses

This chick pulled her titties out, I asked what are those for
Put my dick between em and she slurped it like an oyster
Pussy is so wet she use my dick as a coaster
I push in and out until I pop out like a toaster

Round me she’s pantsless, gets her Donald Duck on
Nuts in her face like Dampier getting dunked on
In that pussy so much, lookin like I’m stuck on
When I’m done her head and tits is what the fuck my spunk on

Marry into money? Shit, I go the route of Stedman
Dippin in her honey pot and stealin out the bread pan
It’s the quick and lazy route, like doin a keg stand
Hubby finds out, shit I might be a dead man

Some folks are morally opposed they thinks it whorely
To always be out wilin like a sailor free on shore leave
Slowly but surely, I'll fuck your whole sorority
Orderly is how your pledges perform on me orally

Know its not a metaphor,
When I say I met a whore
Who sucked me off for free and she then disappeared like Predator
I'm bettin your girl ends up on my floor
When we finish up down there we get in the bed and fuck some more

Bustin on bellies of bleached blondes by the beach
Longin for my load on their navel like a Sneetch
Show em how to fuck me right I kinda like to teach
If she learns to suck me right then she’s my lil leech

Chicks hear me then they meet me and they say BUT YOURE SO NORMAL
Or meet me then they hear me and they want to give me oral
She says its only fair since I just gave her aural
Sensations she enjoyed it all makes me chortle 

Spittin like the dinosaur that killed Dennis Nedry
Keep a bib on girl if you wanna stay cleanly
Oh you had a nightmare? Well welcome to my wet dream
It’s a porno plot and we’re just gettin to the sex scene

Gettin more head than a guillotine
Then I push her off so my nuts are free to swing
Gettin more ass than a proctologist
Tell her open wide cuz you’re gonna get all of Chris

I’m getting jocked by octogenarians
Grand mama pussy getting wetter than aquariums
Know I said I’d hit it all, don’t wanna sound contrarian
But I get bourgeoisie pussy, that’s proletarian

Pussy with an odor like an ichthyoid
I reach down in and feel the sticky joy
My pricks deployed and then quickly enjoyed
More obsessed with sex than Sigmund Freud

An undercover lover in the blankets with your mother
I argue for no rubber but she argues tougher
Her first mistake was you, her second was your brother
And so now my staff’s satisfaction has to suffer

Vision kinda blurry like I been had cataracts
Hand in her box I'm her kwisatz haderach
Then I take it out and she licks that batter pap
Saddle up behind her cuz Chris just had to tap

If I wanted I could get laid by Mother Nature
Get it on the first night, wouldn’t have to date her
I could get digits with no phone, just a pager
I could pull some broads if I dressed like Craig Sager

Now I got this new chick, a lovely Latina
Sayin that she love my dick more than she love Selena
Batshit crazy though, I mean she guano loco
But I ain’t complainin with my dick down in her chokehold

Now my dicks wrapped up, looks like Laura Palmer
Dick stays hard, yeah she is the embalmer
Thrills until she cums, then it just calms her
But she gets stressed out again as soon as I’m a goner

If I come first don’t worry you get seconds
Refractory period of about six seconds
Pussy so fragrant, it should never be vacant
Pussy stay kinetic, it should never get to latent

Mind blowing sex through the night until morning
I can never get enough, wakin up horny
Get it when I want it, life free of mourning
Leave the grind and hustle to you I just find it boring

They drooling on my jock like Pavlov’s dogs
They suck it nice and tight like they got lock jaw
When I cum Time stops like the clock’s cogs locked
Then I leave and forget her like the world did to Pogs
Track Name: I Met This Girl ft. P-Tek
I met this girl, at a show, said she's a hip hop head
I said oh word? yo that's cool I love hip hop and head
She started talking bout her favorites, Big L, Special Ed
But I just changed the subject, to sex with me instead

Yo I met this girl who held her pussy hostage, that made me pissed
Don't she know I'm like the Prez, don't negotiate with terrorists
Whipped out my phone, she didn't know, had a back up fuck list
That made her change her tune, but she may be luckless

Yo I met this chick, she said to me, it was her third anniversary
The only thing that she wanted was to hear a brand new verse from me
Her 7 year itch came early so, I'm gonna scratch it
Screw her down all nice and tight, just like a ratchet

Yo I met this girl, came up to me, didn't send no mixed messages
Said she had a hotel key and a fetish for pearl necklaces
I asked about her favorite hole, said she had no preferences
So I fucked her mouth, her pussy and ass, 3 spots like sega genesis

Yo I met this freak up at Waffle House, she was lookin for a lover
I got a peak of her ass when she reached up to the cupboard
When she took her break, I said wassup, you don't need to suffer
Fucked her in the baaathroom, left my jizz scattered and smothered

Yo I met this broad at the penny arcade yeah those still exist
Told me that her last mans dick was so small it was really more of a sebaceous cyst
I pulled her close, put her hand on my dick, whispered my wish
She sucked me as I played Galaga, made the top score list

I met this girl named Bonita
Asked if her she'd like to touch my penis rub my weiner
I said I got a couple secret tricks I wanna teach ya
and if you want to eat a dick well I would love to feed ya
I'll be your man after midnight Mamma mia
and you can make the call on how you wanna be treated
I don't wanna be mean but it was awfully easy to get up underneath ya
lemme put a finger (or three) on your lips blah-blitta-blee-blah
onomatopoeia slurp gulp I gotta eat ya too eat you
but wanna be sure hat you're full
I'm impressed by the trick you do with a bottle of Pinot
I got a video of that thing you do
with a ping pong ball and some Lincoln logs too
and you thought I was sleepin'
and on top of the reasons I love you
you still swallow my semen
when we fuck it's fuckin' magic magic fuckin'
like Ron and Hermione love you got the golden snatch we won
and at the end of the day when the dick's soft
I'm just happy for your thick cunt to drip cum
High-five Applebum & give your clit love
cuz you know I never finish til my chick does
Track Name: MC Sex Life
I'm not a rapper I'm a rappist
Oh you wanna fuck? Well I like to practice
Rollin on the mattress, Stick you like a cactus
Then brag about it all in my facebook status

I don't kiss and tell, I just fuck and then rap about it
Beat it up in the bush, rather than stab around it
No she ain't my girl, that'd be like I'm grounded
Her ass is a variable, I'm gonna compound it

Our relationship is torrid and lusty
Two things I like are that she's whorish and busty
Pussy never musty, in fact its a must see
Tastes like the lips of an angel, trust me

I'm feelin lucky though cuz shes not my only
Just gotta ring her up if I want her to bone me
When I'm not around, she doesn't give a shit about me
When we meet to pound, she fucks the fucking shit out of me

rather get fucked than drunk (rather get fucked than drunk?!)
rather get laid than paid (rather get laid than paid?!)
I don't rap for money, rather be a sex symbol
Picked this profession to make getting sex simple
Cuz I'm MC Sex, not MC Relationship
So cancel all the cuddlin because I fuckin hate that shit
Oh you wanna date?  I quit
Move on to your re-place-a-ment
Someone fresh to teach the ways of my brand of debasement

Chicks dig me think I'm an intriguing specimen
And I can't say no, thats the reason for this mess I'm in
I love head like a pill box hat in leopard skin
and I can rarely turn down a flower of estrogen

I'm the kinda guy always down for a quickie
Run up in the scene and kill the cat like Itchy
No I'm not picky, they can be thick, fit or fifty
long as no complainin when i leave the scene swiftly

She had heard my music, said it was intimidating
but the night came, and she was into mating
gettin intimate no waiting, no debates, just cravings
sated and replaced by the sounds of a bed shaking

She's lyin next to me, say she love me...AWKWARD
Didn't mean to touch her emotions when I cocked her
Told her she's too good for me, she should flee and prosper
Helluva whopper, shit I deserve an Oscar

rather get fucked than drunk (rather get fucked than drunk?!)
rather get laid than paid (rather get laid than paid?!)
I don't rap for money, rather be a sex symbol
Picked this profession to make getting sex simple

I'm lovin this life but some folk hate my diction
even though I make it quite clear it's most fiction
They say your rhymes aren't palatable
yeah you've had some shows but your views just aren't compatible

dag nab it, your raps are too graphic
had some traffic when you started but you sent them in a panic
you're too phallic, too scary to the Catholics
your nasty drastic verbal reenactments

you're unmarketable, no profit
not a single single in ya, no Toad the Wet Sprocket
How the fuck are you supposed to get airplay
when they can't even broadcast shit that you say

So I put out my seedy CD for free
with sleazy MP3s, feelin queasy?
then delete me, it won't defeat me
but first pass it to friends who are a teensy more skeezy
Track Name: Night on the Town
Everybody likes to fuck, so we should all do it
Best feelin in the worlds drainin all my ball fluid
But I'm not always wanted, rather I'm haunted
By chicks I might have scored with, but bombed it

Like one chick I met in one of downtown's douchey bars
Frat hats, flat drafts, and outta tune guitars
Stole to some dive, right down the street
Hopin that I'd get to dive in that pussy

She opened up her heart, was a can of worms
I'm sitting there, half listening starting to squirm
I'm waiting my chance to talk, jealous of the other guys
who get a word in otherwise and have their hands on girls' thighs

This is like homework, her words makes my dome hurt
Still wanna bone her but I see why she's a loner
I think up an excuse for me to leave, to split
I look her in the eyes "Yo I gotta shit"

So that's strike one I was hopin for a slam dunk
Wanna save par, so know I gotta man up
The finish line is close so I can't be trippin
How many sports metaphors can I fit in?

Got a gin and Canada Dry from the next bar
To try and make a little cutie Mexican wet
We just met, but does it really matter who we are?
I don't care what she does anywhere besides bed

I wanna put my cock on her chin
And watch her start sippin on it like her concoction
Skippin the semantics, I want in your pants quick
Lecherous sensuous adventurous sex with

ME! Don't exchange money just fluids
We don't have to be drunk we can be clear and lucid
Or drink beer and lose it, put on some music
Wake the neighbors with our noises, well there's my two cents

And there goes my four bucks, so long puddin
That type of approach never works and it shouldn't
I should be more prudent, little less anxious
Practice with patience cuz I don't wanna spank this

So that's strike two I was hopin for a slam dunk
Wanna save par, so know I gotta man up
The finish line is close so I can't be trippin
How many sports metaphors can I fit in?

Now my inhibitions lowered like they're playin limbo
I'll hit on any lady, girl, tramp, slut or bimbo
Who'll fuck at any tempo
Press her buttons like Nintendo
As long as she ends up sucking me off while I'm akimbo

It's close to closing time, gotta close with a bang
See if she'll come home with me, get naked and bang
With a guy like me not too likely
I'll prolly screw up soon and she'll forever despise me

Let's not think too much, let's drink too much
Lets do something stupid and listen to Cupid
But he's drunk too, he misses our hearts
His head was hanging low and shot right for the crotch

So on the way home, she's gnawin on my bone
Waitin for a spoon size sample of my chromosomes
I've got something I need out of my system
Not an emotion just unbridled jism

We should rearrange so that we can really do this
Take off all our clothes and exchange some new fluids
This explicit dick is so slick with your spit
That it slips and I miss when i go to push in it

Finally we finish and we pass the fuck out
Too fucking tired to even try to duck out
Then there's moanin in the mornin, an AM sex fest
Followed by her making me a decent ass breakfast
Track Name: Self Defecation
I don’t dress to impress
I undress and depress with
Sex skills far from blessed
They’re lackluster at best
And my zest to caress
Any breast in a dress
Gets repressed, there’s no yes

That’s not just jest It’s the worst
I don’t know how to flirt I just blurt The first thing
that squirts in my mind And it hurts My chances
of dances romances and dropping my pantses

Tony Danza’s more of a boss than I’ll be
My stupid stanzas are just a front really
I got no bucks no cash no checks and no cents
No fucks, no ass, much hex soul lent

To the devil right now, Lucifer’s abusing it
No big deal, I wasn’t really using it
My future’s so dim I gotta wear a spelunker’s helmet
I need some more ducats so I can thrust my pelvis

They say sex sells but MC Sex’s
Sex cells stay stale imprisoned in this jail
No chicks with bail stuck in my sac
Til I find me a girl, spray em all on her back

It’s harder than that though
Less yes, more no
Pussy ain’t delivered I’m stuck with DiGiorno
(That’s porno) You’re no doubt thinking
I thought he was so deep in poon he was sinking

I lied OK? I lied a whole lot
This sex-addled swagger might as well be store bought
I’m like a robot when it comes to chatting up broads
I never leave em awed, they never lead me on

They leave with a yawn and I return to the bottle
Now where was I before I started that convo?
Oh right I’m bout to rap bout how I rock with my cock
Just cuz it’s lies don’t mean I’m gonna stop
Track Name: Thrillhouse
I like fuckin, sexin, what you wanna call it
Pussy is to me like booze is to an alcoholic
the setting: bucolic, condom in my wallet
Her pussy's a vampire, my dicks the garlic
That's a stupid way of me just sayin that I kill it though
Pussy got me wilin like when Milhouse put in Thrillho
It's a bone storm comin through in the forecast
I get a lot but I'm always wantin more ass

Big ol tits like Dolly
Is she gon suck me prolly
Got me screamin out oh golly
Want this cracker like she Polly
She serves my balls like volley
She ride me like a trolley
She tried to keep me for herself but my gamy is poly
Got no emotions for her, not even emojis
Open the door sure but won't buy no groceries
She be digging me but I'm just digging in her ovaries
Resistin her intrusions, rap game Cochise

Pussy lookin gorgeous
Eat it like I’m Norbit
Kill it cuz im morbid
Flip it get some more head
Normalcy deported from my orb back in infancy
Pussy dependency? Hmm, let me check and see
Ain’t got it in a week, then I feel less than weak
Need to leak out on a cheek, or I be feelin bleak
Rap game Capt. Spaulding
Fucked up teeth and I'm balding
Always out marauding
Late night fuckin so I called in

Spanish body curvin perfect like it was a tilde
Ass deserves its own parade that's bigger than Bastille Day
If there were an Ass Olympics she would have a field day
Scare off all the competition no one to say We'll play

pass that, lungs fillin with magical laugh gas
last chat, not another word before I smash that
Ass fat, wet panties droppin like the NASDAQ
Getting so much pussy its a trend I need a hashtag