I met this girl, at a show, said she's a hip hop head
I said oh word? yo that's cool I love hip hop and head
She started talking bout her favorites, Big L, Special Ed
But I just changed the subject, to sex with me instead

Yo I met this girl who held her pussy hostage, that made me pissed
Don't she know I'm like the Prez, don't negotiate with terrorists
Whipped out my phone, she didn't know, had a back up fuck list
That made her change her tune, but she may be luckless

Yo I met this chick, she said to me, it was her third anniversary
The only thing that she wanted was to hear a brand new verse from me
Her 7 year itch came early so, I'm gonna scratch it
Screw her down all nice and tight, just like a ratchet

Yo I met this girl, came up to me, didn't send no mixed messages
Said she had a hotel key and a fetish for pearl necklaces
I asked about her favorite hole, said she had no preferences
So I fucked her mouth, her pussy and ass, 3 spots like sega genesis

Yo I met this freak up at Waffle House, she was lookin for a lover
I got a peak of her ass when she reached up to the cupboard
When she took her break, I said wassup, you don't need to suffer
Fucked her in the baaathroom, left my jizz scattered and smothered

Yo I met this broad at the penny arcade yeah those still exist
Told me that her last mans dick was so small it was really more of a sebaceous cyst
I pulled her close, put her hand on my dick, whispered my wish
She sucked me as I played Galaga, made the top score list

P-Tek
I met this girl named Bonita
Asked if her she'd like to touch my penis rub my weiner
uh
I said I got a couple secret tricks I wanna teach ya
and if you want to eat a dick well I would love to feed ya
I'll be your man after midnight Mamma mia
and you can make the call on how you wanna be treated
I don't wanna be mean but it was awfully easy to get up underneath ya
lemme put a finger (or three) on your lips blah-blitta-blee-blah
onomatopoeia slurp gulp I gotta eat ya too eat you
but wanna be sure hat you're full
I'm impressed by the trick you do with a bottle of Pinot
I got a video of that thing you do
with a ping pong ball and some Lincoln logs too
and you thought I was sleepin'
and on top of the reasons I love you
you still swallow my semen
when we fuck it's fuckin' magic magic fuckin'
like Ron and Hermione love you got the golden snatch we won
and at the end of the day when the dick's soft
I'm just happy for your thick cunt to drip cum
High-five Applebum & give your clit love
cuz you know I never finish til my chick does