I'm not a rapper I'm a rappist
Oh you wanna fuck? Well I like to practice
Rollin on the mattress, Stick you like a cactus
Then brag about it all in my facebook status

I don't kiss and tell, I just fuck and then rap about it
Beat it up in the bush, rather than stab around it
No she ain't my girl, that'd be like I'm grounded
Her ass is a variable, I'm gonna compound it

Our relationship is torrid and lusty
Two things I like are that she's whorish and busty
Pussy never musty, in fact its a must see
Tastes like the lips of an angel, trust me

I'm feelin lucky though cuz shes not my only
Just gotta ring her up if I want her to bone me
When I'm not around, she doesn't give a shit about me
When we meet to pound, she fucks the fucking shit out of me


rather get fucked than drunk (rather get fucked than drunk?!)
rather get laid than paid (rather get laid than paid?!)
I don't rap for money, rather be a sex symbol
Picked this profession to make getting sex simple
Cuz I'm MC Sex, not MC Relationship
So cancel all the cuddlin because I fuckin hate that shit
Oh you wanna date?  I quit
Move on to your re-place-a-ment
Someone fresh to teach the ways of my brand of debasement


Chicks dig me think I'm an intriguing specimen
And I can't say no, thats the reason for this mess I'm in
I love head like a pill box hat in leopard skin
and I can rarely turn down a flower of estrogen

I'm the kinda guy always down for a quickie
Run up in the scene and kill the cat like Itchy
No I'm not picky, they can be thick, fit or fifty
long as no complainin when i leave the scene swiftly

She had heard my music, said it was intimidating
but the night came, and she was into mating
gettin intimate no waiting, no debates, just cravings
sated and replaced by the sounds of a bed shaking

She's lyin next to me, say she love me...AWKWARD
Didn't mean to touch her emotions when I cocked her
Told her she's too good for me, she should flee and prosper
Helluva whopper, shit I deserve an Oscar

rather get fucked than drunk (rather get fucked than drunk?!)
rather get laid than paid (rather get laid than paid?!)
I don't rap for money, rather be a sex symbol
Picked this profession to make getting sex simple


I'm lovin this life but some folk hate my diction
even though I make it quite clear it's most fiction
They say your rhymes aren't palatable
yeah you've had some shows but your views just aren't compatible

dag nab it, your raps are too graphic
had some traffic when you started but you sent them in a panic
you're too phallic, too scary to the Catholics
your nasty drastic verbal reenactments

you're unmarketable, no profit
not a single single in ya, no Toad the Wet Sprocket
How the fuck are you supposed to get airplay
when they can't even broadcast shit that you say

So I put out my seedy CD for free
with sleazy MP3s, feelin queasy?
then delete me, it won't defeat me
but first pass it to friends who are a teensy more skeezy