Call me a karma chameleon cuz I cum and I go Call me a shitty bakery cuz I’m all outta dough Call me Sergeant Schultz because I KNOW NUTTING And nutting is my business and so I keep gutting These vaginas like fish, you can call me Captain Ahab Or Myers or Voorhees because of the way they stab Teenage girls or better yet Freddie Krueger Cuz I’ll be in the dreams of any chick after I do her I’m trying to CUM AGAIN like Apu Nahasapeemapetilon And she gives me headstrong, never does it dead wrong I’m a Superman lover cumming faster than a speeding bullet If I can’t find a girl to suck it, I'm a go home and pull it Call me Moses how I split the Puss Sea And I’m the life guard so I dive in real deep I’m a regular rapscallion, a hip-hop shallot I don’t need a bed to fuck, I’ll makeshift a pallet Ladies laugh at my lyrics thinkin im just comedyin But a girls’ giggles worthless unless they’ll eat my bead of semen Cuz the funny guys finish next to last Right along with the nice guys who never get to blast Their yolks on the girls who liked their jokes And what’s the point if you’re not getting pokes? Folks I’m here to tell there really isn’t one If you don’t do it for cum then it shouldn’t be done I don’t wanna explain a lot I just wanna drain my cock So strip and take off that tank top I’m about to tame that twat Yep, that bout sums up the plot Of most my songs cuz I fuck a lot I just rap about what I got And that’s pussy so I rap about fuck a lot Because I ain’t got money, it comes to me in short stacks I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay the poor tax So I’ll write rhymes and spit more than four yaks And stomp on some motherfuckin beats like doormats Take off your shoes cuz I keep shit clean Stick my weiner in her mouth to give it a nice sheen Then wash it off cuz I don’t know where it’s been Wrap it up and stick her til it splits her spleen Til I spill my beans right out of my burrito Then my nuts hang like I just took off a Speedo And I’m outta there quick like a launching torpedo I could offer her to friends but I like more for me though I’ll scoop up a chick, call me the papa pelican She’s squawkin in my ears but its like she’s speakin Mexican So I bark back “Hey, you got any next of kin For my amigos? Why don’t you text a friend?” A skeleton don’t have as much bone in em as I do I’ll fuck a Japanese girl as she writes a haiku She says Oh Chris you such a tight dude As I strap on my cape, I got more pussy to fly through Cuz I’m Chris Sandoval, the human bidet I keep them pussies wet all night and all day I’m a perverted poet My dick, I like to show it Pubic mound you’d better mow it Then I’ll stick it in a co-ed Honeys I don’t smack I dig em Admire they legs a minute then grab and split em Pound back and forth while I get in my rhythm Then pull out and unleash a fury of jism! I’ll gladly dispense with some of this fluid that starts families But for now it’s just the birth of some more raunchy ramblings I’m in a naked state of mind Mind over matter Mine is what matters Making my cum splatter My genitals should be more gentlemanly And know better than to lose their lunch on your tits and belly Like George Bush in Japan But pardon me maam Now that I’m done, it’s time for me to scram

The testicle festival is in town and your spectacles will soon be my seminal receptacle, it’s spectacular Like my vernacular or the way my hips move when I’m tea-baggin or shagging her An all out gonad gala, we’re going balls deep Talks cheap so lets fuck and fall asleep Or we can keep the party going Keep the cum flowing keep loins full of post-coital liquids glowing The latter’s my preference But sometimes after spilling my baby batter a nap sounds stupendous Other times I feel restless and one orgasm isn’t enough to end this Endless need to nut so I extend this Sex session the same way my boner elongates Her tongue waits for more waves of cum galore to taste A dates just a chance to mate or splooge on a face Never splurge if you don’t think your rod’ll reguritate Step right up, it’s the testicle festival Hittin all the towns in the U.S. and Mexico Ain’t no donkey show, it’s a straight up freak show If you want in you better sign the release yo I think its becoming of a woman for me to be coming on her face For that matter her tits, thighs, eyes or any place She squeezes a mini taste of my family tree Out of my mighty oak, with oh so much glee Which is good, cuz my wood’ll be up in her esophagus A real long time like a corpse in a sarcophagus I wanna get mad pussy Or even insane crotch Cuz then I’d fuck Judy while George and Jane watch I’m not misogynistic But you can take this dick and massage it I’ll show up at your prom with a barrage of corsages To give the queen and princesses a taste of my cock sausage And then watch their façades as I squirt on their visages A tale of two titties as I Chuck my Dick ins The pickens isn’t slim and so I’m clit flickin These tales aren’t grim so I’m big grinnin And I’m spillin on her linens so that means I’m winnin Step right up, it’s the testicle festival Hittin all the towns in the U.S. and Mexico Ain’t no donkey show, it’s a straight up freak show If you want in you better sign the release yo Tickle on my balls til the precum crawls Out its hole in the head; down my shaft it falls And lap that all up from the base to the tip Then open up wide cuz its all coming in Hock a loogie up and lube me up til I’m harder than a rock And gargle on that article cuz we don’t need to talk Pull it out, a web of spittle is still sticking to your lips Which helps cuz it’s time to shove this stick between your hips So we’ve been Strokin, lickin Now I’m Rammin my dick in Cuz the sooner that it’s in there, the sooner that I’m finishin That’s why I started, I’m not here for a marathon Bust one, bust two, that’s all, I’m gone You’re getting offended The sex it just ended Maybe not for you but for me it was stupendous But don’t worry, we’ve both got sexual appetite’s insatiable And view each other as equals, equally replaceable She likes it on top So she's grindin my cock I don’t wanna bust in her But I don’t wanna her to stop So I Toss this wonderful broad to the side And cum so damn hard that it lands near my eye And we giggle, we laugh, oh me oh my we’re the BEST!! Now let me watch you lick that cock snot off my chest I know you got off Of my dick when I pushed you I don’t know if you came but that’s a personal issue As for me my cum came and now it’s all gone And it’s time for me to do the same so so long

Girls can learn a lot from an 8-bit console Like how to take my cartridge in her mouth to her tonsils And use her tongue like Yoshi suck me like Kirby Toast me like Scorpion and get Dig Dug dirty I’m up in them guts like Abadox I’ll be the bogey on your six that you had in Starfox “But Chris that was Super-” Thanks I thought so too But you ain’t gotta tell me, cuz this is what I do See I’m cockier than Locke in Final Fantasy 3 So get used to how I change to SNES so rapidly Fuck it, new game, lets move to the next phase Looks like my lean lizard’s leaning towards a Rampage So pants are dropping just like King Hippo’s Straight from the get go She grabs cock and won’t let go I’m laying more pipe than World Seven Warpin around grabbing puss for my brethren I’m in heaven, no its just Airman’s stage Mega Man, we need more games like that this day in age Maybe I just feel like I relate to Wood Man Cuz when people ask what’s up I say “My wood man!” But I’m no smooth talker, I could use a Game Genie But I still get Continues so that I can use my weenie for I put my finger in your ____ cuz that’s the spot My dick ___ cuz I like you a lot I ____ your pussy and you get real hot And I ____ any suckers who cock block Take off your clothes like Justin Bailey I want to be inside you; that just goes without saying Let’s kick around the subject like Chun Li Maybe bring out the camera, make our own Smash T.V.? My bald white Abobo’s looking woeful Let’s eat a toadstool So it can get swoll and old school Then get all Simon Belmont on that ass with the whips Or get a little weird like Mario 2 did My dick is getting harder than that Ninja Turtles game Or Battletoads amphibian games were all the same So I take off my pants, I’m going Bionic Commando Platonic relationships can go out the window Condoms make it harder for me to enjoy sex Like playing Galaga with controllers instead of joy sticks You still fucking love it Like Mario loves Peach Even if her vaginas dried up like Koopa Beach Now for me, Donkey Kong might be the wrong moniker I prefer King Dong cuz with that there’s more fodder for Girls to ask questions bout my crotch Then I’m one step closer to a sperm launch For me or a sperm lunch for her She can Bobble my cum Bubbles and that’s what I prefer Cuz it looks funny and I laugh like the dog from Duck Hunt And The only real difference, is that I’m on a Cunt Hunt I put my finger in your ____ cuz that’s the spot My dick ___ cuz I like you a lot I ____ your pussy and you get real hot And I ____ any suckers who cock block

Locked and loaded? Yep My cock is bloated I’m looking to dive in some affairs that are sordid “He just grabbed my ass!” Yep he sure did Don’t you love that cocky swagger? He seems so assured. Yo cuz sluts have slits for dudes with dicks That vomit up when they get sick All that thrusting has made them nauseous Oops, there’s a stain, you might want to wash this Keep your chick around me; I’m a try to do her Cum in her eyes and make her squint like French Stewart I’ll be hittin the clit of that chick you call honey While you’re beatin your dick like the thing owes you money And I’m so thankful for what I’ve got A big full belly and a wet empty cock I’m not looking for love I’m looking for lust I don’t wanna touch your heart so on your titties I’ll bust I stuff my hot dog in her mouth like she’s Kobayashi Pull it out, come on her face, make her scream “OH MY GOSHY!! Where’d all that cum come from?” You dumb dumb I’ve been saving that up for this session of fun fun But my dick’s still stiffer than a weekend at Bernie’s So stiff it needs a gurney and believe me it’s yearning For some jiggly, giggly pussy lips gargling With creamy cunty cum spewing out like a lava stream I’m always in the back of her mind As I drill her in your face and finger-bang you from behind Her slurp slurp slurp makes my dick burp Out it’s guts on her tonsils with one strong squirt And the rest it leaks out like drip drip drip I came so fast she didn’t even get to strip So my DNA is soaked in her B-R-A But wait ten to go again and I’ll be OK Look, I Love broads if they aint too broad Or loud or dumb Just the ones looking for some good ol’ fun And by fun I mean dick In your mouth like a thermometer and I know you aint sick And so I didn’t mind that our date was truncated Cuz she depantsed me, found my trunk and ate it Can’t focus with my locus of power deflowering her This shower of semen should douse her then I’ll return To my usual ways, that was my usual way I’m dazed in this post-coital haze and amazed How my man mayonnaise never fails to spray On my prey at anytime in anyplace I bone em real hard Get my dick all up in em Oh damn I’m sorry, did I damage your duodenum? I don’t love em and leave em I fuck em and chuck em, Hump em and dump em Relationships: I cleave them

This is a tale about a night I got lucky Went back to her place for some sucky fucky I had no business crawling in that driver’s seat Nor racing home and parking diagonally So as you might guess, the details are shredded She might’ve been blonde, she might’ve been a redhead Things got hot and heavy, especially the latter But I was quite blitzed so it didn’t really matter There was pulling grabbing pinching slapping I was black out drunk so it’s like I’m time travelin one big detail I missed was her weight Which is odd looking back cuz that’s her largest trait I didn’t find out til it was too late I was dealing with a chick who leaves a clean plate A deuce and a half, maybe I’m exaggerating But hey I got laid, that’s better than masturbating Wake up roll over, all of a sudden I’m like Urkel Did I do that? I think I’m gonna hurl I could’ve drowned under her! I hope I had a snorkel Man I go through desperate measures just to get my pork pulled She told me later on about some things that I did Like what I screamed when I made her swallow my kids “What you’re drinking is people, like Green that’s Soylent Now rub it in your face like Apricot Exfoliant”

Vagina’s are weird looking, but they’re beautiful too A woman should never be ashamed of her choo choo No matter what the fuck is coming out of it Be it cock, cum, tongue or even blood be proud of it! So why then do ladies seem to find it unladylike To summon cum when blood is coming out of their baby pipes? They be like “I can’t tonight” And I be like “Oh it’s alright When my dick comes out, it’ll look like it took a bite” Your pussy’s rubescent? Don’t keep it clandestine Just drop down your panties and don’t keep this man guessin I’ll turn my peach popsicle into a sanguine stick Tell everyone about it, they thinking We sick Just cuz you’re on the rag it doesn’t have to be a drag It’ll take more than blood to make my hard dick sag We can still both cum UH And then wash off AH If you’re not down with that I’ll put my dick up in your jawwwww Mayonnaise and ketchup is a great combination Special sauce for a special occasion A period ends sentences, not intercourse My nut ends the sex and this is the chorus Bloody pussy!? Man that’s not a scare It’s more like a sloppy Joe or a burger cooked rare The blood can make it better, wetter that’s for sure And there’s something about that scarlet stuff that makes it feel pure So alive and visceral so derived from the physical Basic pleasures, a little different from the typical Her pussies looking rubicund and she’s not a redhead The cuffs don’t match the collar, yo lets get off the bedspread Let’s put down a towel so your sheets don’t get messy I know its that time of the month but no need to get testy I’ve got something that’s tasty, here taste these testes Before it’s too late and they taste too rusty Oh you don’t care if it’s covered in your hemoglobin? I can’t understand you cuz you’re still busy schlobbin! Her blood counts down as blood drips down her cunt No cunnilingus because that’s just dumb Mayonnaise and ketchup is a great combination Special sauce for a special occasion A period ends sentences, not intercourse My nut ends the sex and this is the chorus You’re starting to menstruate, well this man thinks it’s great Don’t wait let’s get straight to the main plate That’s the red pussy, aka the bleeding hatchet wound A chance to snatch the womb like this comes along but once a moon Cuz a rise in hormones means more moans, My bare bone’ll put boom in your poon like a pair of baritones The crimson tide rolls in, my dick’ll roll out So far we’ve had some fun with head but now I need no mouth Her legs pinned back, Im swatting, swinging my sac And the blood it leaks like red ink right down her ass crack So the front half of my scrotum looks like it was painted Or maybe I just dropped my drink and Kool Aid stained it There’s a red Rorschach blot resting on her thighs What do you see here? Is it two butterflies Or is it a pair of lungs? I can’t quite decide But if you wait a second I’ll add a splash of white Mayonnaise and ketchup is a great combination Special sauce for a special occasion A period ends sentences, not intercourse My nut ends the sex and this is the chorus

I wanna fuck some ladies then I wanna fuck again I wanna be so rich that I wanna vote Republican I wanna get so much pussy that my piss smells like fish I wanna reach that point where I don’t have to wish I wanna have a job where I just put it in the pink slit I wanna get paid to give boyfriends their pink slip I wanna take your shorts off so I can get a peek at you I wanna see you naked cuz you’re cuter than Pikachu I wanna get my hard dick up in some wigglystuff That’ll put me to sleep like a song sung by Jigglypuff And that’s not it at all I wanna ménage a trios I wanna massage a twat And I don’t wanna have to call I wanna throw the direction of these skirts in reverse I wanna fuck so bad that it hurts I wanna fuck you; NO; well pish posh and balderdash I wanna rip off her pants and paw at her snatch I wanna spray my cum on something other than a Kleenex I wanna spray my cum on a girl hotter than Phoenix I wanna avoid the dregs, just cream of the crop Give em the crème de la crème, out my cock it’ll plop I wanna steal Bootsy’s piss; take P out of P Funk I wanna get funky like James Brown’s since he’s defunct I wanna get more tail than an animal shelter I wanna use my French Tickler on Freda Felcher I wanna blast her face off like Castor Troy With my alabaster mast, no tricks tactics or ploys I wanna pull out and point that thing at her vag I don’t wanna clean up, use her muff as a rag

Spilling your seed, isn’t a sin silly In fact it’s win/win, one for me one for my willy Getting nuts prevent us from going nuts Cum in your system is like power, too much corrupts And even though I don’t condone beating on your children I’ll beat my bone til my kids splatter on the ceiling My unborn drip down, sperm genocide clean it with a Kleenex or let that shit dry I like jackin off more than slacking off And I’m fucking lazy I love me some slacking off I’m writing rhymes while I should be workin And when I should be writing rhymes I’m steady jerkin lotion in my palm it Helps me keep calm No longer gotta hide the porno stash from my mom Thought I’d graduate from jackin off to copulation But internet kept my hand always rotatin Rubbing, sliding, not sliding rubbers Sitting by my laptop beatin on my blubber Limewire Bearshare my old friend Kazaa Asked them for some pron and in seconds, huzzah! Stroking my schlong Imagining my cum on her Became a reality When my jizz hit the monitor I measured how far my load went with a ruler when it dripped down, I dubbed that a drooler My dick’s choked like a Dallas team in the playoffs One from the late aughts, and there’s massive layoffs Meaning all lays are off, for me for now until I can fool Some young co-ed into absorbing my tool Into her twat but for now they’re not So I keep on churning out my homegrown cock snot So I didn’t learn how to treat a lady like a man should But I know how to treat my manhood Too much time on my hands, I filled em with lotion Put dick into fist then cum is the quotient I should’ve been plowing the 40 acres with my mule But I was at my desktop with nothing but my tool In my hand and there was absolutely no demand for it Outcast to just porn, so I grinned and bore it Beared it, whatever, as long as they’d beer me I needed to forget about that celibate tyranny It wasn’t that bad, I wasn’t used to getting laid On a regular basis, I hadn’t come of age And I hadn’t cum in ages by the power of girl Porn stars the most important women of my world So with a few flicks of the wrist I did a slick trick And made a milky mixture pop right out the dick tip!

It’s easy to spit bars all about nothing easier to spit out bars about fuckin the easy way out is to jot down on paper Lines that end in suck and fuck and throw in some flavor I Rocksteady with my rock hard ding dong It goes BeBop when I put the pink on my schlong My dick’s stuck up in that pussy like a Splinter Anytime of the year be it April or winter Inhibitions lowered like they’re playing limbo If you’re talking bout fucking you’re talking my lingo Everyday of my life is like sabado domingo Things are falling into place like I’m winning at Plinko Stumbling down halls Fumbling with bras Nothing in my balls Cuz it all has sprawled On the walls of vaginas that I have adored And adorned with my sperm in one big pour A fistful of phallus White dick’s a crystal chalice I’m in wonderland with Alice And she’s loving all my talents I’m feeling very needy And I know it’s kinda greedy But I wanna dump my seedy On more pussy cats than Tweety There’s an urgent need for detergency To cure this vagina’s deterrent stink Maybe steel wool and bleach will do the job But if funk blocks fuck, I’ll settle for some slob Do it for the story Do it for the lolz And do it with no condom if she takes her birth controlz I’d rather be remiss than not missed at all If you don’t like it that you can lick the balls If my wiener were a wiener it’d be Ball Park Frank It gets plump on your grill, When it’s hot give it a yank Or maybe Hebrew National, it’s blowing up like Tel Aviv Unborn children everywhere but hey, C’est la vie

She’s got more cream on her lips than a Funny Face from IHOP Uh-oh, She looks like shes about to cry, STOP We just met, We’re not AT ALL committed “If my boyfriend knew, he’d be so goddamn livid!” OH that explains it but my cock she just drained it So I offer up an idea that might rearrange shit Tell him what happened straight up, no lies Then tell him that you’re sorry but you really think you guys Have something special and you really want to preserve it So you’re willing to do something a little perverted Then list off each of your freakiest friends And tell him that you’ll fuck one if that would make amends And that he could join in, that’ll get his groin growin If he says “I’m in” then that’s win/win/win “I guess that could work, but what do you get out of this?” I just want to meet your girlfriend so she can bounce on this When your twat gets wet, on my cock just SIT When you want it in your ass on my shaft just SIT When you want me to taste on my face just SIT And when my nuts in your mouth then you know that’S IT Even she wants a relationship like Pam and Jim I’d leave a spot on her face just like Marilyn Monroe, play her with her hole like a mandolin And then take no bull like Merrill Lynch Her heads buried in the sheets and it muffles her screams She’s clutching the mattress and grinding her teeth Her thighs and my waist form a triangle She drops her crotch; pussy lips dangle And then I thrust in and bisect that shape. My dick squishes pussy like feet squish grapes Switch, She’s on top, riding me full throttle I’m grabbing her hips; shaking like a ketchup bottle My balls flap forward and clap on the clit Like a hi hat click but that’s what you get When you adopt this slick prick into your home Need doggy door panties just for this bone My toes curl as my dick hurls its pearl, Lets go again just to make it plural What in the world feels better than that? Not many things Girls over money; you can’t buy you a ding a ling You can choke on my dick but I need you to SIT Hun if you’re ready for some cum then SIT Before I jizz on your tits, I need you to SIT And when my nuts in your mouth then you know that’S IT

My name is MC Sex, that’s dumb Shut up, I save the clever stuff for the album My cock phlegm is flung like my balls are smoker’s lungs It’s not about to stop it’s only just begun See, I don’t smoke Black and Milds cuz I’m White and Wild And it shows that I’m horny in my writin style When I’m fightin Guile I pick Ryu And Hadouken you fools with a ball that’s bright blue But I’m never stuck with blue balls I always make those two fall I bounce around these dames just like cue balls She’s pushing stick like people in pool halls And when I ask her to fuck me she won’t pause In my house the odors of debauchery run rampant When I touch a thigh, a pussy gets dampened Its not an accident, I straight up planned it I don’t offer my cock, because she’ll demand it I dos what I does Drink brews for a buzz Where’s the bathroom in this place? I’m bout to ruin a rug I’m a scummy lover leaving nutty rubbers on your belly and covers Call me Danny Glover Cuz I keep a Lethal Weapon in my pants at all times And brag about it all in my cock and ball rhymes you used to be a wild one but now this dick is tamin ya our bodies come together like Mesopotamia All the ladies in the house get drunk and strip Lets see some pussy, some ass and a whole lotta nip I get this shit cracking like an old man’s hip But this ain’t nothing yet fuckers, this is just the tip My rhymes aren’t one-dimensional just cuz I rap about booty I rap about big tits and those things are two D In other words Double D He swinged swang and swung at me Hey its not my fault your girl wants to get fucked by me I’m more into my mahogany than monogamy Nonogamy, that’s where I think it really be No need for a we, just more for me It doesn’t take a whore to see I’m really really horny On the mattress is where my talents lie I’m a goofus, not gallant kind of guy I do this fuck music To loosen up the pubic region Of any chick that’s in reaching Range Especially the kind that are loose like change They say they come a dime a dozen But when I’m buzzing Around these bars looking for a little something I come up empty handed Except for when I’m home I open my palm up and there is my bone And if you want to know the truth Lately I get laid about as much as Michael Bluth Not much and it sucks Go out and its all the same such and such and such I see ass I wanna touch and I see pussy I wanna mush No bush in my fantasy just a naked lush Inebriated enough to want to get naked with me We know its not love but maybe she’ll fake it with me So I put my precipice straight in her wet crevice Reckless sex I guess, that’s what makes it the best of this She calls me lover boy as I’m hitting it from the back I pull up my pants to leave and I don’t call her back