I'm your favorite girls favorite rapper Right before we fucked said I'd name a song after Right after we fucked I put that pussy out to pasture May be called a bastard but that pussy I done mastered Im halfway to filthy rich, I’m so filthy I'll steal your girl quick, like Claire Quilty Yo ain't my fault though, she's the one who's guilty I ain’t have to do shit, she offered to milk me Stare into that pussy then I fall in like I’m Narcissus And the rubbers ribbed, got her feelin like a sharks in it Get it on the first night, hole in one’s the par for this Never leave my seed I gotta clean my semen carcasses This chick pulled her titties out, I asked what are those for Put my dick between em and she slurped it like an oyster Pussy is so wet she use my dick as a coaster I push in and out until I pop out like a toaster Round me she’s pantsless, gets her Donald Duck on Nuts in her face like Dampier getting dunked on In that pussy so much, lookin like I’m stuck on When I’m done her head and tits is what the fuck my spunk on Marry into money? Shit, I go the route of Stedman Dippin in her honey pot and stealin out the bread pan It’s the quick and lazy route, like doin a keg stand Hubby finds out, shit I might be a dead man Some folks are morally opposed they thinks it whorely To always be out wilin like a sailor free on shore leave Slowly but surely, I'll fuck your whole sorority Orderly is how your pledges perform on me orally Know its not a metaphor, When I say I met a whore Who sucked me off for free and she then disappeared like Predator I'm bettin your girl ends up on my floor When we finish up down there we get in the bed and fuck some more Bustin on bellies of bleached blondes by the beach Longin for my load on their navel like a Sneetch Show em how to fuck me right I kinda like to teach If she learns to suck me right then she’s my lil leech Chicks hear me then they meet me and they say BUT YOURE SO NORMAL Or meet me then they hear me and they want to give me oral She says its only fair since I just gave her aural Sensations she enjoyed it all makes me chortle  Spittin like the dinosaur that killed Dennis Nedry Keep a bib on girl if you wanna stay cleanly Oh you had a nightmare? Well welcome to my wet dream It’s a porno plot and we’re just gettin to the sex scene Gettin more head than a guillotine Then I push her off so my nuts are free to swing Gettin more ass than a proctologist Tell her open wide cuz you’re gonna get all of Chris I’m getting jocked by octogenarians Grand mama pussy getting wetter than aquariums Know I said I’d hit it all, don’t wanna sound contrarian But I get bourgeoisie pussy, that’s proletarian Pussy with an odor like an ichthyoid I reach down in and feel the sticky joy My pricks deployed and then quickly enjoyed More obsessed with sex than Sigmund Freud An undercover lover in the blankets with your mother I argue for no rubber but she argues tougher Her first mistake was you, her second was your brother And so now my staff’s satisfaction has to suffer Vision kinda blurry like I been had cataracts Hand in her box I'm her kwisatz haderach Then I take it out and she licks that batter pap Saddle up behind her cuz Chris just had to tap If I wanted I could get laid by Mother Nature Get it on the first night, wouldn’t have to date her I could get digits with no phone, just a pager I could pull some broads if I dressed like Craig Sager Now I got this new chick, a lovely Latina Sayin that she love my dick more than she love Selena Batshit crazy though, I mean she guano loco But I ain’t complainin with my dick down in her chokehold Now my dicks wrapped up, looks like Laura Palmer Dick stays hard, yeah she is the embalmer Thrills until she cums, then it just calms her But she gets stressed out again as soon as I’m a goner If I come first don’t worry you get seconds Refractory period of about six seconds Pussy so fragrant, it should never be vacant Pussy stay kinetic, it should never get to latent Mind blowing sex through the night until morning I can never get enough, wakin up horny Get it when I want it, life free of mourning Leave the grind and hustle to you I just find it boring They drooling on my jock like Pavlov’s dogs They suck it nice and tight like they got lock jaw When I cum Time stops like the clock’s cogs locked Then I leave and forget her like the world did to Pogs

I met this girl, at a show, said she's a hip hop head I said oh word? yo that's cool I love hip hop and head She started talking bout her favorites, Big L, Special Ed But I just changed the subject, to sex with me instead Yo I met this girl who held her pussy hostage, that made me pissed Don't she know I'm like the Prez, don't negotiate with terrorists Whipped out my phone, she didn't know, had a back up fuck list That made her change her tune, but she may be luckless Yo I met this chick, she said to me, it was her third anniversary The only thing that she wanted was to hear a brand new verse from me Her 7 year itch came early so, I'm gonna scratch it Screw her down all nice and tight, just like a ratchet Yo I met this girl, came up to me, didn't send no mixed messages Said she had a hotel key and a fetish for pearl necklaces I asked about her favorite hole, said she had no preferences So I fucked her mouth, her pussy and ass, 3 spots like sega genesis Yo I met this freak up at Waffle House, she was lookin for a lover I got a peak of her ass when she reached up to the cupboard When she took her break, I said wassup, you don't need to suffer Fucked her in the baaathroom, left my jizz scattered and smothered Yo I met this broad at the penny arcade yeah those still exist Told me that her last mans dick was so small it was really more of a sebaceous cyst I pulled her close, put her hand on my dick, whispered my wish She sucked me as I played Galaga, made the top score list P-Tek I met this girl named Bonita Asked if her she'd like to touch my penis rub my weiner uh I said I got a couple secret tricks I wanna teach ya and if you want to eat a dick well I would love to feed ya I'll be your man after midnight Mamma mia and you can make the call on how you wanna be treated I don't wanna be mean but it was awfully easy to get up underneath ya lemme put a finger (or three) on your lips blah-blitta-blee-blah onomatopoeia slurp gulp I gotta eat ya too eat you but wanna be sure hat you're full I'm impressed by the trick you do with a bottle of Pinot I got a video of that thing you do with a ping pong ball and some Lincoln logs too and you thought I was sleepin' and on top of the reasons I love you you still swallow my semen when we fuck it's fuckin' magic magic fuckin' like Ron and Hermione love you got the golden snatch we won and at the end of the day when the dick's soft I'm just happy for your thick cunt to drip cum High-five Applebum & give your clit love cuz you know I never finish til my chick does

I'm not a rapper I'm a rappist Oh you wanna fuck? Well I like to practice Rollin on the mattress, Stick you like a cactus Then brag about it all in my facebook status I don't kiss and tell, I just fuck and then rap about it Beat it up in the bush, rather than stab around it No she ain't my girl, that'd be like I'm grounded Her ass is a variable, I'm gonna compound it Our relationship is torrid and lusty Two things I like are that she's whorish and busty Pussy never musty, in fact its a must see Tastes like the lips of an angel, trust me I'm feelin lucky though cuz shes not my only Just gotta ring her up if I want her to bone me When I'm not around, she doesn't give a shit about me When we meet to pound, she fucks the fucking shit out of me rather get fucked than drunk (rather get fucked than drunk?!) rather get laid than paid (rather get laid than paid?!) I don't rap for money, rather be a sex symbol Picked this profession to make getting sex simple Cuz I'm MC Sex, not MC Relationship So cancel all the cuddlin because I fuckin hate that shit Oh you wanna date?  I quit Move on to your re-place-a-ment Someone fresh to teach the ways of my brand of debasement Chicks dig me think I'm an intriguing specimen And I can't say no, thats the reason for this mess I'm in I love head like a pill box hat in leopard skin and I can rarely turn down a flower of estrogen I'm the kinda guy always down for a quickie Run up in the scene and kill the cat like Itchy No I'm not picky, they can be thick, fit or fifty long as no complainin when i leave the scene swiftly She had heard my music, said it was intimidating but the night came, and she was into mating gettin intimate no waiting, no debates, just cravings sated and replaced by the sounds of a bed shaking She's lyin next to me, say she love me...AWKWARD Didn't mean to touch her emotions when I cocked her Told her she's too good for me, she should flee and prosper Helluva whopper, shit I deserve an Oscar rather get fucked than drunk (rather get fucked than drunk?!) rather get laid than paid (rather get laid than paid?!) I don't rap for money, rather be a sex symbol Picked this profession to make getting sex simple I'm lovin this life but some folk hate my diction even though I make it quite clear it's most fiction They say your rhymes aren't palatable yeah you've had some shows but your views just aren't compatible dag nab it, your raps are too graphic had some traffic when you started but you sent them in a panic you're too phallic, too scary to the Catholics your nasty drastic verbal reenactments you're unmarketable, no profit not a single single in ya, no Toad the Wet Sprocket How the fuck are you supposed to get airplay when they can't even broadcast shit that you say So I put out my seedy CD for free with sleazy MP3s, feelin queasy? then delete me, it won't defeat me but first pass it to friends who are a teensy more skeezy

Everybody likes to fuck, so we should all do it Best feelin in the worlds drainin all my ball fluid But I'm not always wanted, rather I'm haunted By chicks I might have scored with, but bombed it Like one chick I met in one of downtown's douchey bars Frat hats, flat drafts, and outta tune guitars Stole to some dive, right down the street Hopin that I'd get to dive in that pussy She opened up her heart, was a can of worms I'm sitting there, half listening starting to squirm I'm waiting my chance to talk, jealous of the other guys who get a word in otherwise and have their hands on girls' thighs This is like homework, her words makes my dome hurt Still wanna bone her but I see why she's a loner I think up an excuse for me to leave, to split I look her in the eyes "Yo I gotta shit" So that's strike one I was hopin for a slam dunk Wanna save par, so know I gotta man up The finish line is close so I can't be trippin How many sports metaphors can I fit in? Got a gin and Canada Dry from the next bar To try and make a little cutie Mexican wet We just met, but does it really matter who we are? I don't care what she does anywhere besides bed I wanna put my cock on her chin And watch her start sippin on it like her concoction Skippin the semantics, I want in your pants quick Lecherous sensuous adventurous sex with ME! Don't exchange money just fluids We don't have to be drunk we can be clear and lucid Or drink beer and lose it, put on some music Wake the neighbors with our noises, well there's my two cents And there goes my four bucks, so long puddin That type of approach never works and it shouldn't I should be more prudent, little less anxious Practice with patience cuz I don't wanna spank this Again So that's strike two I was hopin for a slam dunk Wanna save par, so know I gotta man up The finish line is close so I can't be trippin How many sports metaphors can I fit in? Now my inhibitions lowered like they're playin limbo I'll hit on any lady, girl, tramp, slut or bimbo Who'll fuck at any tempo Press her buttons like Nintendo As long as she ends up sucking me off while I'm akimbo It's close to closing time, gotta close with a bang See if she'll come home with me, get naked and bang With a guy like me not too likely I'll prolly screw up soon and she'll forever despise me Let's not think too much, let's drink too much Lets do something stupid and listen to Cupid But he's drunk too, he misses our hearts His head was hanging low and shot right for the crotch So on the way home, she's gnawin on my bone Waitin for a spoon size sample of my chromosomes I've got something I need out of my system Not an emotion just unbridled jism We should rearrange so that we can really do this Take off all our clothes and exchange some new fluids This explicit dick is so slick with your spit That it slips and I miss when i go to push in it Finally we finish and we pass the fuck out Too fucking tired to even try to duck out Then there's moanin in the mornin, an AM sex fest Followed by her making me a decent ass breakfast

I don’t dress to impress I undress and depress with Sex skills far from blessed They’re lackluster at best And my zest to caress Any breast in a dress Gets repressed, there’s no yes That’s not just jest It’s the worst I don’t know how to flirt I just blurt The first thing that squirts in my mind And it hurts My chances of dances romances and dropping my pantses Tony Danza’s more of a boss than I’ll be My stupid stanzas are just a front really I got no bucks no cash no checks and no cents No fucks, no ass, much hex soul lent To the devil right now, Lucifer’s abusing it No big deal, I wasn’t really using it My future’s so dim I gotta wear a spelunker’s helmet I need some more ducats so I can thrust my pelvis They say sex sells but MC Sex’s Sex cells stay stale imprisoned in this jail No chicks with bail stuck in my sac Til I find me a girl, spray em all on her back It’s harder than that though Less yes, more no Pussy ain’t delivered I’m stuck with DiGiorno (That’s porno) You’re no doubt thinking I thought he was so deep in poon he was sinking I lied OK? I lied a whole lot This sex-addled swagger might as well be store bought I’m like a robot when it comes to chatting up broads I never leave em awed, they never lead me on They leave with a yawn and I return to the bottle Now where was I before I started that convo? Oh right I’m bout to rap bout how I rock with my cock Just cuz it’s lies don’t mean I’m gonna stop

I like fuckin, sexin, what you wanna call it Pussy is to me like booze is to an alcoholic the setting: bucolic, condom in my wallet Her pussy's a vampire, my dicks the garlic That's a stupid way of me just sayin that I kill it though Pussy got me wilin like when Milhouse put in Thrillho It's a bone storm comin through in the forecast I get a lot but I'm always wantin more ass Big ol tits like Dolly Is she gon suck me prolly Got me screamin out oh golly Want this cracker like she Polly She serves my balls like volley She ride me like a trolley She tried to keep me for herself but my gamy is poly Got no emotions for her, not even emojis Open the door sure but won't buy no groceries She be digging me but I'm just digging in her ovaries Resistin her intrusions, rap game Cochise Pussy lookin gorgeous Eat it like I’m Norbit Kill it cuz im morbid Flip it get some more head Normalcy deported from my orb back in infancy Pussy dependency? Hmm, let me check and see Ain’t got it in a week, then I feel less than weak Need to leak out on a cheek, or I be feelin bleak Rap game Capt. Spaulding Fucked up teeth and I'm balding Always out marauding Late night fuckin so I called in Spanish body curvin perfect like it was a tilde Ass deserves its own parade that's bigger than Bastille Day If there were an Ass Olympics she would have a field day Scare off all the competition no one to say We'll play pass that, lungs fillin with magical laugh gas last chat, not another word before I smash that Ass fat, wet panties droppin like the NASDAQ Getting so much pussy its a trend I need a hashtag